“Oh shit, I can’t find my handbook”

Many folks usually say to me that parenting should be easy since I have three kids. However, being a parent is not easy. Each time I was pregnant, I felt like I had to do it all over again. My morning sickness affected me differently each time, that was something I will never become an expert on. It was emotionally and physically draining; my body was going through all of these changes and I had no control over it. I would have different types of food cravings and no control. As parents, we all have stories to tell about how we made it through those tough days and nights. We all struggle to find our way to be the best parent that we can be for our child(ren).

Society puts huge pressure on us to get everything right because we don’t want to be labeled as awful parents. From the day my kids were born, the struggle continued; I remember being challenged with breastfeeding because I felt the need to get it right. There were times that I cried because I couldn’t get my child to latch on. My breasts would be sore, but I still focused on getting the job done and couldn’t give up. My mom was there to support me, albeit from afar. She would just say it’s not that hard, just do it! I don’t think it was a result of her not wanting to help me, but sometimes I don’t think she understands how to give advice like American moms.

As a result of the war in Cambodia, she was separated from her parents at about 14 years old and had to fend for herself. My mother had me on a refugee camp in Thailand and there was no one there to coach her or stay up at night with her. She raised all 7 of her kids by herself and we were all fine… I guess. She didn’t understand why it was so hard for me. I guess us Americans are more emotional beings because we like to express our feelings. My mom doesn’t cry, she doesn’t confess her emotions, she is just a tough lady who just deals with it. I mean, she lived through a war.

My three kids are all going through different stages and I must adapt and try to meet them where they are and support their growth. My oldest is 11-year-old, and he is going through this weird pre-teen stage where he wants to keep to himself. He doesn’t want to do much and is lazy. He wants to play his video games and be left alone. He does well in school, but I have to say things over and over and its pretty annoying.  My 4-year-old, is the middle child so he is full of energy and craves 110% of my attention. He talks a lot and make up stories in his head. He confesses his love to me all the time, but then throws a fit when things don’t go his way. My 10-month-old baby girl is so precious and adorable. She is always happy, but she wants to have playtime all day long. She cries wolf when it’s time to get in the car seat and wants to listen to toddler songs on repeat in the car. Once again, so annoying, but I love them to death.   

I wish I can say that being a parent is easy and that I read the best handbook that prepared me for every aspect of parenting, but, there is no such thing. We just figure it out as we go. Our love for our kids is so strong and unconditional no matter what they do we still love them. Even when we don’t agree with them. We grow to learn how to be more supportive and patience. We make life seems easy so that they never have any worries or stress.

I look forward to sharing many more stories with you about my family and kids. Just remember “parenting does not come with a handbook and it is not easy, but it’s the best feeling in the world.”

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